CDs listened to today:

• Muhal Richard Abrams: Blu Blu Blu

CDs listened to today:

• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
• Gyorgy Ligeti: Requiem
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
• Bela Bartok: String Quartet No. 4
• Esa-Pekka Salonen: L.A. Variations
  

Today, A contacted me again. I was kinda hoping for a break and I got a bit of one, but all good things come to an end, I suppose. It's ironic, because just this morning, I noted to a friend that I was amused that A was blocking me on the work IM system. I shared my thoughts with him that I thought it was ironic that she was blocking me--given that I had only attempted to contact her once, to give her a gift. All other contact between us has been initiated by her, so you can see the irony that she blocked me on the work IM.

I tried to be professional toward her (after all, it was work), and then sent her a personal text message. I asked politely that she send any requests for help or information through her boss, couching it as a personal request. Naturally, after I asked her to leave me alone, she sent two more text messages... The second one was kind of sad. She asked if I ever wanted to be her friend, that it felt like I hated her and that hurt her feelings. For the record, I don't hate her, I just can't get enough space or distance from the relationship--with all its trouble--for me. All the contacts have pretty much been her wanting something from me, things I can no longer give. This is not friendship. Until she gives me real distance, I'm going to remain silent.

CDs listened to today:

• Gunther Schuller: Eine Kleine Posaunenmusik
• Supreme Beings Of Leisure: (eponymous)
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• Igor Stravinsky: Symphony Of Psalms
• Various Artists: Hurricane Zouk
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Allan Blank: Concerto for Clarinet and String Orchestra
• Bill Watrous: Bone-ified

CDs listened to today:

• Sergei Kalinnikov: Symphony No. 1
• George Michael: Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1
• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Olivier Messiaen: Catalogue d'Oiseaux, disk 2 (Peter Hill, piano)
• The Persuasions: Street Corner Symphony
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Sergei Prokofiev: Symphony No. 1
  
• Save Ferris: It Means Everything
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Interpreters: Back In The U.S.S.A.
• The Annuals: Be He Me

CDs listened to today:

• Eric Ewazen: Sonata for Trombone (Steve Witser, trombone)

CDs listened to today:

• Fishbone: The Reality Of My Surroundings

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Louis Calabro: Sonata-Fantasia
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
  

CDs listened to today:

• John Abercrombie: November
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 1 (Sir Georg Solti conducting)
• Nick Cave: Nocturama
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
  

CDs listened to today:

• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
• Gyorgy Ligeti: Requiem
• Bela Bartok: The Miraculous Mandarin
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
  

CDs listened to today:

• Arnold Schoenberg: Verklärte Nacht (Orpheus Chamber Orchestra)
• Various Artists: The K & D Sessions, disk 2
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• Igor Stravinsky: Le Sacre du Printemps
• The White Stripes: Elephant
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• Gyorgy Ligeti: Requiem
• Arnold Schoenberg: Kammersymphonie
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
  

Today, I really felt like I reached my limit. It's been nearly three-and-a-half weeks since I broke things off with A, and she has contacted me an average of once per day. I really need some psychic space from her and I'm not getting it. Instead, I get a combination of requests to be her support staff (as if we were still an item), insults, and not-so-subtle notifications about her love life. Phone calls, MySpace bulletins, emails, text messages, instant messages--she's doing it all! I tried to be caring and patient with the requests for help, even when they were mixed with nasty comments. I reminded myself she's feeling the same absence, the same missing presence in her life and that the contact helped ease those feelings. I tried to maintain a friendly demeanor until I got horribly assaultive IMs and emails, clearly calculated to hurt my feelings.

All of this is leaving me feeling very fragile and on edge emotionally. It's as if we never broke up, given the amount of contact. I have made a lot of efforts to give myself space, replying only in the most limited manners and all while trying to be courteous. I definitely replied in kind from the nasty IM, but apologized, only to receive a horrible, cruel email, clearly written to wound. I regret the IM, that's for sure. But I also regret that, during this period, I was foolish enough to send her a gift of music files when I had a sentimental moment. The email I sent with it asked that she not respond--she responded twice. Today, she contacted me at work on a trivial pretext and I tried to beg off--only to get three additional emails. Then when I get home, a fifth message in my personal personal email, asking if we were going to be friends or not.

This is friendship? When do I get space and something friendly rather than attacks, thinly veiled "innocent" jabs and constant requests for help? I'm no longer going to respond to her at all.

This is miserable and I need to move forward without her. I want to move forward without her.

CDs listened to today:

• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Sergei Prokofiev: Sonata for Piano Nos. 9 & 10
• Teenage Fanclub: Thirteen
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
  

CDs listened to today:

• Mauricio Kagel: Piano Trio No. 1
• Phantom Planet: The Guest
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Olivier Messiaen: Catalogue d'Oiseaux, disk 1 (Peter Hill, piano)
• Seal: (eponymous, 1991)
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
  

CDs listened to today:

• Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Love Bad News

CDs listened to today:

• Jay-Z: The Black Album
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Eric Ewazen: Sonata for Trombone (Joseph Alessi, trombone)

CDs listened to today:

• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
  
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
• John Cage: Thirty Pieces for String Quartet

CDs listened to today:

• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica
• Bela Bartok: Divertimento
• The Charlatans: Up To Our Hips
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• stellastarr*: (eponymous)
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 5 (Sir Roger Norrington conducting)
• Gyorgy Ligeti: Requiem
• Foo Fighters: (eponymous)
  

CDs listened to today:

• Weezer: (eponymous blue album)
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• Maurice Ohana; Tombeau de Claude Debussy
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica
  

CDs listened to today:

• Ted Leo & The Pharmacists: Shake The Sheets
• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Arnold Schoenberg: Verklärte Nacht (Herbert von Karajan conducting)
• Various Artists: The K & D Sessions, disk 1
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica
• Igor Stravinsky: Le Rossignol
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Sergei Prokofiev: Sonata for Piano Nos. 6-8, disk 2
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica

So, the story of racial conflict in Jena, Louisiana (pronounced JEE-nuh) broke open this past week as a huge number of protesters marched in the town.

The roots of the conflict--aside from America's long, troubled history of race relations--appear to be a dispute over an old oak tree on the local high school grounds. Traditionally, white students thought of the tree as theirs to hang out under. Well, it's Louisiana, so it almost goes without saying that if white students hang out there and it's a tradition, black students aren't welcome. Apparently, the tree was called the "white tree".

Well, the current trouble begins, according to news reports, when the black kids appealed to the high school principle that they wanted to be able to gather under the tree, too. He may be the only one in this story worthy of praise, he simply told the kids to go ahead. I say he "may" be due for praise; it's hard to know if he should have anticipated the trouble this would cause. So, a black kid sat under the tree. The next morning, a clutch of replica nooses are dangling from the tree.

You don't exactly have to know a lot about these things to guess that racial tensions in the school skyrocketed from what was not doubt the usual simmer to a full, rolling boil. The school destroyed the tree, but that wasn't a cure. Eventually, harsh language and ugly exchanges occured. This culminated in an ugly confrontation on school grounds. A white boy was severely beaten and six black students were arrested and charged, some with attempted second-degree murder. Witnesses report the assault had no immediate provocation, that the boy was blindsided by the assailants.

None of this is good news, but then the national groups got involved. they are calling the six defendants the "Jena Six" as if this is a civil rights story. It was about civil rights and all that when it was about the tree and the nooses, no doubt. It stopped being about civil rights when an unconscious boy was rushed to the hospital. Now it's about justice and violence.

These boys are presumed innocent, but no matter who beat that young man, nobody is saying he deserved it, or even that he put up those nooses. Maybe he did put up the nooses, but that still doesn't mean the beating was justified or lawful. Perhaps the young man is guilty of some form of intimidation. It's still legal to call people names although I imagine nooses are a form of threat and illegal as such (Sep 27 note: the Jena DA and US Attorney in Louisiana have determined that the nooses weren't illegal. It's worth noting that the US Attorney is black).

Here are my complaints: Why are the national groups protesting the criminal charges? Only one child was put in the hospital, despite reports of other scuffles. This isn't a bloody nose, this was a horrific beating. How would Martin Luther King view this? That we should protest criminal charges when it's clear there was a brutal beating? But I have more: Why second-degree murder? This was an ugly thing, but murder? What evidence of intent? Why adult charges for the minors? What about the reported beating of a black boy at a party? Why no charges for his assailants?

Lastly, why protest the charges for the student who was not a minor at the time of the assault. According to published reports, this is not his first criminal offense and he led the attack. How can this young man be allowed to go free when he is committing the exact same crimes that used to be the exclusive domain of Louisiana's whites? I guess that is a form of racial progress in the South, that racially-motivated violence is excused because the victim "deserved it". No matter what color the attacker and victim are…

Leave me out of this one, please. Let me know when all violent offenses are prosecuted without protest.

CDs listened to today:

• Liz Phair: Whip-Smart
• Olivier Messiaen: Catalogue d'Oiseaux, disk 3 (Hakan Austbo, piano)
• The Sea And Cake: The Fawn
  

CDs listened to today:

• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Eric Ewazen: Concerto for Bass Trombone and Wind Ensemble
• MJ Cole: Sincere
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Simon Jeffes: 'Still Life' at the Penguin Café
• My Morning Jacket: Z
  

CDs listened to today:

• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 4 (Sir Roger Norrington conducting)
• Ben Folds Five: Whatever and Ever Amen
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• John Cage: Thirteen
• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Jawbox: For Your Own Special Sweetheart
• Jesus Guridi: Sinfonia Pirenaica

CDs listened to today:

• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Bela Bartok: Concerto for Violin No. 2
• Nick Cave: Nocturama

CDs listened to today:

• Bill Watrous: A Time For Love
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• François-Bernard Mache: Andromède
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
  

CDs listened to today:

• Talking Heads: Remain In Light
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Arnold Schoenberg: Verklärte Nacht (Juilliard Quartet)
• Various Artists: Jump 'N' Jive
• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Igor Stravinsky: Pulcinella
  

CDs listened to today:

• Oliver Messiaen Saint François d'Assise
• Sergei Prokofiev: Sonata for Piano Nos. 1-5
  

CDs listened to today:

• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Olivier Messiaen: Catalogue d'Oiseaux, disk 2 (Hakan Austbo, piano)
• Tom Scott & The LA Express: Tom Cat

CDs listened to today:

• Victor Ewald: Quintet No. 3
• Milli Vanilli: Girl You Know It's True
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Charles Ives: Symphony: New England Holidays
• Liz Phair: Exile In Guyville

CDs listened to today:

• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 3 (Sir Roger Norrington conducting)
• Fishbone: The Realities Of My Surroundings
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• John Cage: Sonatas and Interludes for Prepared Piano
• Javanese Court Gamelan: (eponymous)
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
  

CDs listened to today:

• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 4
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• Bela Bartok: Concerto for Viola and Orchestra
• Alban Berg: Lulu Suite
• Neko Case: The Tigers Have Spoken.
• My Morning Jacket: Z
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Igor Stravinsky: Orpheus
• Bill Watrous: Space Available
• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
  

CDs listened to today:

• Various Artists: The Jackal
  

Today is one of the hardest days of my adult life.

I had to break things off with A. It's been a very hard decision to make, given all her good qualities, but the foundations of our relationship are far from solid. Given the deliberations, I have a very clear set of reasons, but I can't share them. She didn't ask me about why, so I don't get to tell anybody about how this relationship has failed to fulfill me. Dumping her without a clearly articulated reason seems heartless and callous. I suppose what would be truly heartless and callous would be announcing our issues to anybody but her.

So I'm miserable in silence. It's really not right, in my view, to whine about feeling this way when I'm the one who chose to break things off. I already miss her terribly, but this was the right decision. I've never felt so cruel in my life.


CDs listened to today:

• Save Ferris: It Means Everything
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• John Prescott: Suite for Alto Trombone
• Talking Heads: Naked
• Arnold Schoenberg: Suite for Piano
  

CDs listened to today:

• Charles Ives: Symphony No. 4 (Michael Tilson-Thomas conducting)
• Tom Petty: Greatest Hits
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Olivier Messiaen: Catalogue d'Oiseaux, disk 2 (Hakan Austbo, piano)

CDs listened to today:

• Milt Jackson and Wes Montgomery: Bags Meets Wes!
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Alvin Etler: Concerto for Violin and Wind Quintet
• Ron Miles: My Cruel Heart
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Cardigans: First Band On The Moon
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 2 (Sir Roger Norrington conducting)
• Fishbone: Truth And Soul
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• John Cage: Solo for Sliding Trombone
  

CDs listened to today:

• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 1 (Three Movements for Orchestra)
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• Samba Mapalanga: Ujumbe
• Bela Bartok: Concerto for Piano, No. 2 (Sviatislov Richter, soloist)
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Bill Watrous: Bone-ified
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"
• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

CDs listened to today:

• Francis Poulenc: Stabat Mater
• Tackhead: Friendly as a Hand Grenade
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Arnold Schoenberg: Suite
• Various Artists: Hurricane Zouk
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Igor Stravinsky: Oedipus Rex
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"

CDs listened to today:

• Charles Ives: Symphony No. 4 (Seiji Ozawa conducting)
• The Persuasions: Street Corner Symphony
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Peter Mennin: Symphony No. 7
• Royal Crescent Mob: Spin The World
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"

A had a recurrence of the same health problem from last December and nearly died last night. Even her own family has mentioned frustration with her that she hasn't followed the regime that would keep her healthy. Just like last time, I was trying to coordinate help for her, despite her resistance. Today, she is safe at the hospital and my role is to try and be the good boyfriend and support her. Still, how many times will this have to happen before she dies or realizes she needs to take care of herself?

CDs listened to today:

• The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: Let's Face It
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
  

CDs listened to today:

• Fine Young Cannibals: The Raw & The Cooked
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• John Cage: Music Of Changes
• Janet Jackson: Rhythm Nation 1814
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
• Donald Erb: Ritual Observances
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Symphony No. 2, "Cello"

CDs listened to today

• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Hebert Vázquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Bela Bartok: Concerto for Piano, No. 2 (Yefim Bronfman, soloist)
• Café Tacuba: Cuatro Caminos
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet
  
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 1 (Sir Roger Norrington conducting)
  

CDs listened to today:

• Muddy Waters: His Best, 1956-1964
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Hebert Vázquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Ellen Taaffe Zwilich: Concerto for Trombone and Orchestra
  

CDs listened to today:

• Anthony Plog: Concerto for Trumpet, Brass Ensemble, and Percussion
• Supreme Beings Of Leisure: (eponymous)
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Arnold Schoenberg: String Quartet No. 2 (String Orchestra version)
• Various Artists: Heartbeat Soukous
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Hebert Vázquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Igor Stravinsky: Octet
  

CDs listened to today:

• George Michael: Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Charles Ives: Symphony No. 3 (Michael Tilson-Thomas conducting)
• Pearl Jam: Vitalogy
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• William Thomas McKinley: Piano Concerto No. 2
• Rooney: (eponymous)
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
  

CDs listened to today:

• INXS: Listen Like Thieves
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Donald Erb: Concerto for Violin
  

CDs listened to today:

• Fine Young Cannibals: (eponymous)
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• John Cage: Four

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Bela Bartok: Concerto for Orchestra
• Jeff Buckley: Grace
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 5 (Herbert von Karajan conducting)

CDs listened to today:

• Arnold Schoenberg: The String Quartets, disk 2
• Various Artists: Hardhop & Trypno
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Igor Stravinsky: Apollo
• Muddy Waters: His Best, 1947 to 1955
• Marilyn J. Ziffrin: Symphony for Voice and Orchestra
• The Annuals: Be He Me

CDs listened to today:

• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Charles Ives: Symphony No. 3 (Orpheus Chamber Orchestra)
• Pearl Jam: vs.
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Nicholas Maw: Concerto for Violin and Orchestra
• Julie Roberts: (eponymous)
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Walter Piston: Symphony No. 6
• Sugar Ray: Lemonade and Brownies
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
  

CDs listened to today:

• Fastball: All The Pain Money Can Buy
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• William Byrd: Suite
• The Interpreters: Back In The U.S.S.A.
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Antonin Dvorák: Concerto for Cello
• George Michael: Faith
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Bela Bartok: Bluebeard's Castle
• Dave Brubeck: Time Out
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 4 (Herbert von Karajan, conducting)

CDs listened to today:

• Various Artists: Freezone 2: Variations On A Chill, disk 2
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Richard Strauss: Sonatinen
• Washington Social Club: Catching Looks
• Iannis Xenakis: Pléiades
• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

CDs listened to today:

• Arnold Schoenberg: The String Quartets, disk 1

CDs listened to today:

• Charles Ives: Symphony No. 2
• Pearl Jam: Ten
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Nicholas Maw: American Games
• Ride: Nowhere
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Allan Pettersson: Symphony No. 8
• Sugar Ray: 14:59
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
  

CDs listened to today:

• Family Stand: Moon In Scorpio
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Zbigniew Bujarski: Quartet for a House-Warming
• Hüsker Dü: Metal Circus
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Pascal Dusapin: Time Zones (Quartet II)
• Metallica: (eponymous)
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Samuel Barber: Knoxville: Summer of 1915
• Clifford Brown: Brownie Lives!
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 3 (conducted by Herbert von Karajan)
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

I got back from visiting A late last night. I set a new best time for the drive back from her town, but it was still a brutal drive. She's doing well from her surgery, but it was a quiet weekend since she needed to take it easy. Hopefully, next time will be more fun and her health will be more stable. It's going to be tough to figure out when our next visit is going to happen, given my work demands and her lack of leave time. We'll figure it out!

CDs listened to today:

• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Arnold Schoenberg: Serenade
• Various Artists: Freezone 2: Variations On A Chill, disk 1
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Richard Strauss: Parergon
• Was/Not Was: What Up Dog?
• Iannis Xenakis: Keqrops
  

CDs listened to today:

• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Charles Ives: Sunrise
• Pavement: Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Colin Matthews: Sonata No. 4 for Orchestra
• The Tony Rich Project: Words
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Vincent Persichetti: Parable for Band
• Sugar Cubes: Life's Too Good

CDs listened to today:

• Fall Out Boy: Under The Cork Tree
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Van Hunt: (eponymous)
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Pascal Dusapin: a quia, disk 2
• Metallica: …And Justice For All
  

CDs listened to today:

• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Richard Strauss: Concerto for Oboe
• The Wallflowers: Bringing Down The Horse
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Iannis Xenakis: Pléiades
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Leonardo Balada: Torquemada
• Dollar Brand & Archie Shepp: Duet
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 2 (conducted by Herbert von Karajan)

Tomorrow, I drive after work to see A! She's nervous about the surgery, but excited to see me.

CDs listened to today:

• Benedict Mason: String Quartet No. 1
• Damien Rice: O
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Vincent Persichetti: Concerto for Piano and Orchestra
• Sugar: File Under: Easy Listening
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Arnold Schoenberg: Pierrot Lunaire
• Various Artists: Essential Selection, Vol. 1, disk 1

CDs listened to today:

• Hothouse Flowers: People
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Pascal Dusapin: a quia, disk 1
• John Mellencamp: The Best That I Could Do
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Charles Ives: String Quartets
• Pavement: Slanted and Enchanted
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
  

CDs listened to today:

• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Havergal Brian: Symphony No. 1
  

It's all set. A needs surgery for her gall bladder (maybe it's better to just say it's being removed!). She'll have it this Thursday and I'll be driving up to take care of her after the out-patient surgery. She's a little scared, but I'm confident it'll go well. This is where I have to be careful to respect her very real anxiety. We also had troubles working out the dates for the surgery. She kept trying to get me to commit to a date so she could schedule the surgery. But I was focused on her surgery and pushing her to get a date as soon as possible (I didn't want her to delay it one minute for a workable date)--then I would work around it and simply be there for her. It's a weird conflict for me.

Still, it's exciting to get to see her and I'm pleased and proud to be able to help take care of her after the operation.

CDs listened to today:

• Ludwig van Beethoven: The Symphonies, disk 1 (conducted by Herbert von Karajan)
• Faith No More: The Real Thing
  

Well, the vacation with my niece was cut short. It was great while it went, but we had some terrible luck. My niece got sick and after a couple of days of hoping she would get better quickly, we decided to cut things short. She was really a good sport about that, and I know she was bummed about missing out on some of our plans.

At least we had a little fun first! We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, Great Sand Dunes and Durango--in addition to the rafting fun. As typical for rafting tours, a photographer snapped some action photos of us in one of the rapids. One look at my niece's expression in the photos and I knew she had a great time--pure joy and delight! We even had a bit of goofy fun: visiting the Alien Watchtower in the San Luis Valley, where she got to learn more about the alleged Alien Cattle Mutilations. I love that kind of stuff; it makes the flavor in our world!

CDs listened to today:

• Leonardo Balada: Columbus: Images for Orchestra
• Blur: Parklife
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

I'm pretty excited about this coming week. I'm taking my niece on a road-trip vacation. She's 13, nearly 14, and I've been begging my sister and her husband to let me take her on a trip like this since she was 11. Finally, it's happening!

My niece and I have been talking about our plans for a bit and we have a few definite plans and a few ideas that we'll figure out as we go. For sure, we'll go rafting on the Arkansas River, visit the Great Sand Dunes National Park and Mesa Verde National Park (I scored a very cheap room at the Far View Lodge right inside the park). We'll also find a stable for a horseback ride for her--and me, I miss being around horses.

The germ of the trip comes from my own childhood. It stems from my great aunt, Muiree (pronounced like "Marie"), who flew each of the kids in my family to visit her in San Francisco when we were 12 years old. She took great pains to make lots of plans for things that we wanted to do and she was unfailingly patient and energetic as she shuttled us around town. I remember my own trip: Giants game in the owner's box, Sea World, all the top restaurants, how could I forget? In a way, this trip is a memorial to her (she died about five years ago). Even when my parents' divorce strained family loyalties, she never was anything but loving and accepting of us kids. I can only hope to be an uncle like that.

CDs listened to today:

• Rufus Wainwright: Want One
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Charles Wuorinen: Two-Part Symphony
  

CDs listened to today:

• Daniel Perlongo: Concerto for Piano and Orchestra
• Suede: (eponymous)
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Arnold Schoenberg: Pelleas et Melisande, disk 2
• Various Artists: Essential Selection, Vol. 1, disk 1
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Hebert Vázquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Richard Strauss: Eine Alpensinfonie, disk 2

CDs listened to today:

• Parliament: The Best Of Parliament
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• David Maslanka: A Child's Garden Of Dreams
  
• Republica: (eponymous)
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
  

CDs listened to today:

• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Henry Brant: Pathways to Security
• Hot Hot Heat: Make Up The Breakdown
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Jacob Druckman: Other Voices
• Megadeth: Rust In Peace
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Charles Ives: Sonatas For Piano
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: Triple Concerto for Violin, Cello and Piano
• Extreme: Pornograffiti
  

CDs listened to today:

• Blur: Leisure
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Tadeusz Baird: Colas Breugnon - Suite In Old Style

CDs listened to today:

• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Arnold Schoenberg: Pelleas et Melisande, disk 1
• Various Artists: Drum & Bass Sessions, 2, disk 2
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Richard Strauss: Eine Alpensinfonie, disk 1
• The Violent Femmes: (eponymous)
• Charles Wuorinen: Percussion Symphony
  

A has new health problems. She called me from on the road home on the weekend, begging me to locate a hospital, saying she was in major pain. I tried to guide her to one I found on Google, but perversely, the hospital I found was a closed mental hospital. When she called back to tell me, I confess I laughed a bit (I do that when I'm nervous). She hung up on me and refused to respond to my text messages or answer my calls. Imagine what it's like to not know why she needed an ER or what her condition was. It turns out to be gall bladder pain and she's now on narcotics for the pain.

We need help.

(Note: After posting the entry for this day, a friend suggested some of the posting was inappropriate. In deference to his views, which I believe are wiser than my own on this topic, I have withdrawn about two-thirds of this posting.)

CDs listened to today:

• Karel Husa: Music for Prague 1968
• Charlie Parker: The Legendary Dial Masters, disk 2
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Bohuslav Martinu: Nonet
• The Replacements: Let It Be
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Krzysztof Penderecki: Symphony No. 5
• The Strokes: Room On Fire
  

CDs listened to today:

• Ludwig van Beethoven: Symphony No. 9
• Everclear: So Much For The Afterglow
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Henry Brant: Angels And Devils
• Buddy Holly: Greatest Hits
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Lucia Dlugoszewski: Duende Quidditas
• Sarah McLachlan: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• John Abercrombie: November
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Johann Sebastian Bach: The Art Of The Fugue
• Bloque: (eponymous)
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
  

CDs listened to today:

• Krzysztof Penderecki: Symphony No. 3
• The Streets: A Grand Don't Come For Free
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• Various Artists: Drum & Bass Sessions, 2, disk 1
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Dorrance Stalvey: String Quartet 1989
• The Vines: Winning Days
• Charles Wuorinen: Genesis
  

CDs listened to today:

• Bob Margolis: Terpsichore
• The Replacements: All Shook Down
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
  

CDs listened to today:

• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
  

CDs listened to today:

• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Alan Hovhaness: Symphony No. 29 for Trombone and Band
• Charlie Parker: The Legendary Dial Masters, disk 1
  

CDs listened to today:

• Dave Holland: What Goes Around
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• David Diamond: Symphony No. 5
• Rob McConnell & The Boss Brass: The Brass Is Back
  

I'm stuck in Omaha for work. I'm definitely feeling a little isolated and out-of-sorts.

CDs listened to today:

• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• Johannes Brahms: Symphony No. 4

CDs listened to today:

• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Ludwig van Beethoven: Symphony No. 7
• The Elms: The Big Surprise
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Jan Bach: Laudes
• Blink 182: Enema Of The State
  

CDs listened to today:

• The Verve: Urban Hymns
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Charles Wuorinen: Five
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise

CDs listened to today:

• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
• John Speight: Symphony No. 2

CDs listened to today:

• Syd Straw: War And Peace
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
• Arnold Schoenberg: Gurre-Lieder
• Various Artists: Digital Empire, disk 2
• The Annuals: Be He Me
• Hebert Vázquez: String Quartet No. 1

CDs listened to today:

• Dave Holland: The Razor's Edge
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• David Diamond: Symphony No. 2
• Mazzy Starr: So Tonight That I Might See
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• Alan Hovhaness: Symphony No. 17 (Symphony for Metal Orchestra)
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• Vernon Reid: Mistaken Identity
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Krzysztof Penderecki: Concerto for Violin

CDs listened to today:

• Jan Bach: Concert Variations
• Frank Black: The Cult Of Ray
• John Abercrombie: November
• Ludwig van Beethoven: Sonatas for Violin and Piano, disk 4
• Missy Elliott: Supa Dupa Fly
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta
• Johannes Brahms: Symphony No. 3 (Stanislaw Skrowaczewski conducting)
  

CDs listened to today:

• John Phillip Sousa: Marches
• Velocity Girl: ¡Simpatico!
• Charles Tolliver Big Band: With Love
• Charles Wuorinen: Concerto for Piano No. 3
• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise

My life has been a bit pressure-filled lately. Work is tough, for starters. Between staffing cuts and a new move to put a department on which I depended heavily out of business, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I've even taken a couple of days sick because of the pressures. I have to travel to Omaha soon to help take all the work in that department and move it to a new team--in the midst of all my other projects and work.

Then there's A, who is pressuring me to set up a firm date to visit her. This is tough for me, partly because of the pressures of work, and partly because of my finances. Things are a bit tight because I've been footing the bill for most of our travels and all of our entertainment. She's got a tight financial situation, too, so it's been the best way to go. My frustration is that I feel like I'm responsible for setting up and initiating just about every activity we do. Now I need to figure out the travel schedule, coordinate it with my work, work out the conflicts with my plans for a trip with my niece, find the money to visit--and try not to add stress to A, who really doesn't need more of that. And she is insisting that we adhere to a rigid schedule of visits, which she insists means I have to visit her and not the reverse. I feel like she's not doing her part, here. She constantly burns her time off from work the second it becomes available, blocking her ability to visit me--and spends every extra dime she has the second she gets it, leaving no resources to make a visit possible. I'm stuck... I need support.

CDs listened to today:

• Arnold Schoenberg: Die Glückliche Hand
• Various Artists: Digital Empire, disk 1
• Johan de Meij: T-bone Concerto
  

CDs listened to today:

• Gustav Mahler: The Symphonies, disks 9-10
• David Maslanka: Symphony No. 7
• Krzysztof Penderecki: Concerto for Viola and Chamber Orchestra
• The Stone Roses: (eponymous)
• The Annuals: Be He Me
  
• Tom Scott: Bebop United
  

CDs listened to today:

• Alan Hovhaness: Symphony No. 15, Silver Pilgrimage
• Outkast: The Love Below/Speakerboxxx
• Dave Holland: Seeds Of Time
• The Refreshments: Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy
• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

CDs listened to today:

• Johannes Brahms: Symphony No. 3 (conducted by Sir Adrian Boult)
• Billie Holiday: The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Volume 8
• Arthur Blythe: Lenox Avenue Breakdown
• David Diamond: String Quartet No. 3
• John Mayer: Heavier Things
• Rami Levin: Anima/Breath Of Life
• The Annuals: Be He Me
  

CDs listened to today:

• Olivier Messiaen: Saint François d'Assise
• Ludwig van Beethoven: Sonatas for Violin and Piano, disk 3
• Elastica: The Menace
• Norma Wendelburg: Sinfonietta