Today, I really felt like I reached my limit. It's been nearly three-and-a-half weeks since I broke things off with A, and she has contacted me an average of once per day. I really need some psychic space from her and I'm not getting it. Instead, I get a combination of requests to be her support staff (as if we were still an item), insults, and not-so-subtle notifications about her love life. Phone calls, MySpace bulletins, emails, text messages, instant messages--she's doing it all! I tried to be caring and patient with the requests for help, even when they were mixed with nasty comments. I reminded myself she's feeling the same absence, the same missing presence in her life and that the contact helped ease those feelings. I tried to maintain a friendly demeanor until I got horribly assaultive IMs and emails, clearly calculated to hurt my feelings.

All of this is leaving me feeling very fragile and on edge emotionally. It's as if we never broke up, given the amount of contact. I have made a lot of efforts to give myself space, replying only in the most limited manners and all while trying to be courteous. I definitely replied in kind from the nasty IM, but apologized, only to receive a horrible, cruel email, clearly written to wound. I regret the IM, that's for sure. But I also regret that, during this period, I was foolish enough to send her a gift of music files when I had a sentimental moment. The email I sent with it asked that she not respond--she responded twice. Today, she contacted me at work on a trivial pretext and I tried to beg off--only to get three additional emails. Then when I get home, a fifth message in my personal personal email, asking if we were going to be friends or not.

This is friendship? When do I get space and something friendly rather than attacks, thinly veiled "innocent" jabs and constant requests for help? I'm no longer going to respond to her at all.

This is miserable and I need to move forward without her. I want to move forward without her.

CDs listened to today:

• Hebert Vazquez: String Quartet No. 1
• Sergei Prokofiev: Sonata for Piano Nos. 9 & 10
• Teenage Fanclub: Thirteen
• Dafnis Prieto: Absolute Quintet