Another key to happiness?

I don't remember where I heard this. Basically, the advice was to find what makes you happy and do it. Then you will find true love when you find somebody who's greatest joy is seeing you happy.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I like the sentiment--plus I'm certainly going to agree that it's up to each of us to make our own selves happy. I know we're not born knowing this; and our parents don't always know how to teach this. But still, there's a point where we can't complain about circumstances or the mistakes we've made that put us where we are. It's hard sometimes to see our way through life's compromises and detours to happiness. But really, do you ever want to give that responsibility to others? I mean, they can't even get you good Christmas gifts consistently!

For me, that starts with setting some goals (both small and large ones) and agreeing with myself that I need to be happy that I've made them. Return to college and graduate? Check. Cycle across the country? Check. Reaching the goals is only part of what has made me happier and more satisfied with my life (not perfectly happy--this is life, not a romance novel). The journey and the sacrifices I've made to get those goals (hey, sometimes I've been more disciplined than others) really do add meaning. Call me existentialist, but we are also responsible for the meaning in our lives just as we foot the bill for the happiness.

I gotta say, though, some of life's goals are harder than others. First, you have to figure out what you truly want (the things that will bring happiness), then how to get it. It piles up and can overwhelm you. What do I truly want to give up to get that? How can I make the personal changes that I need to reach some of the bigger life goals (college was a big change for me)? How about meeting my responsibilities and obligations that I've either chosen or life has handed me while reaching for the new goals? And am I really willing to make the sacrifices for some of these?

I'm actually in the middle of a period where my discipline is pretty good. These things come and go, as they do for most of us, but just the progress I'm making is a start that satisfies. As for true love? Well, that's still up to me.

CDs listened to today:

• Gyorgy Ligeti: Requiem
• Olivier Messiaen: Poemes pour Mi
• Sam Phillips: A Boot And A Shoe
• Lightning Bolt: Hypermagic Mountain
• H. Owen Reed: La Fiesta Mexicana
• Frank Sinatra: The Best Of The Columbia Years, 1943-1952, disk 1
• Esa-Pekka Salonen: L.A. Variations
• Joseph Schwantner: In Aeternum (Consortium IV)
• 3rd Bass: Derelicts Of Dialect